I don't think many women enjoy shaving their legs and armpits. Consequently, I don't think men enjoy shaving that much either. It doesn't produce joy. The act is not exciting. In fact, it can lead to injury.
Shaving is a tedious task that we should not even have to complete. If the hair does not need to be there, should not be there, why is it there? This is just another confusing part of being a species that can think. No one is ever going to witness a platypus squatting in front of a mirror wondering how he can tone down the excessive fur on his body. An African Grey Parrot, an intelligent species, will not preen in his cage, use a little body shear and trim his feathers to a more manageable, attractive size. I realize his using the shears would be difficult, perhaps impossible, but you understand that the point is he doesn't need to. Further, he doesn't want to.
We humans find the need and the desire to shave, to look better. Of course, we all don't necessarily buy into this. I could be a person who stands my ground and says, "God put the hair there for a reason, so I am keeping it." That's ridiculous talk. I am not that natural. Plus, everyone else is shaving. I don't want to look like a freak.
My first foray into shaving was when I was much younger. I have no idea how old I was. I am thinking it was around 12. I simply know that my legs were hairy, and it looked like other girls were getting rid of their unwanted, ill-placed hairs. After much contemplation, and questions to no one, especially my mother, I decided I would give it a try. My mother had not discussed the issue with me, and I certainly did not want to address the situation. We just didn't mention these types of things. It may sound like this was the 1960s, but I am not that old. We're talking 1987 here. I had no earthly idea how to shave, but I found some disposable razors in the hall closet. I knew I wanted to do it in the privacy of my own room, not the bathroom we all shared. I had some logic, obviously, so I knew I needed to apply something to my legs before shaving. In a bedroom, without a sink or water, what could I use? Jergen's Lotion seemed pretty reasonable. Yep, that's what I used. It did not work that well, oddly. The razor kept getting clogged up with hair and pink lotion. I had to move the operation into the bathroom where I used water. Had I never heard of shaving cream? Never seen a commercial for the product? I have no idea.
I eventually discovered shaving cream and now use it all of the time. No need for any royalty payments for me since I didn't name a brand. I don't use a particular brand because I am cheap. I buy whatever is on sale or cheapest. Thus, this idea began this morning as I was using my Target brand shaving cream in the shower and looked at the fragrance. I was expecting to see Perfectly Peach or Luscious Lavender or some other "clever" name. Nope. This is sexy shaving cream, for the sexy, erotic job of shaving. It's called Ooooh Baby. This is such an appropriate name. How did the marketing geniuses arrive at this? I can only guess.
"Ouch, That Hurts. How about that? Or maybe Oops, I Nicked It Again? Wait. We're getting there. Let's go with Slather Up, Shave Down."
"Nope. Nope. These ideas are not cutting it. Jim, what do you got?"
"Oooooh Baby." Doesn't that appeal to the lady in the shower, getting rid of that unsightly stubble so she doesn't have to look like a freak and feel like a lazy, hairy loser? It's the perfect balance of 'this is sexy' and 'I am looking good after I don't have unnecessary hair.' Right?"
"Yep, Jim. We've got our fragrance. Great work."
Yes, I am being sexist. I don't believe a woman named this women's shaving cream Oooooh Baby. Evidently, Jim does do some great work. It's an entirely irrelevant name that reveals nothing about the actual smell. What the hell does Oooooh Baby even smell like?
The next time I shop for shaving cream, I am going to look at the fragrances much closer. I want something that tells it like it is and lets me know what the smell in the shower will be. That's what I want - something that smells good and gets the job done. I am hoping for Let's Get This Over With Lilac or No Nicks Nestle's Quick. C'mon people, let's quit creating weirdness where none should be, so we can keep getting rid of the hairs where none should be.
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