Do you know how difficult it is to pick up a cockroach carcass off of the floor with a strategically folded piece of paper? Sudden spasms from the writhing insect make the task even more challenging. I don't enjoy doing this, but that's what I had to do at the workplace today. No, I don't work in food service. Thank goodness for that.
As I drove home today, I had a revelation. These epiphanies are golden. I wish they burst into my mind more often. Anyway, it is this. I am a cynic (not the revelation), and sometimes I am a confused cynic. And at times, I might even find myself happily confused. However, I am NEVER just happy. It's this sort of extreme negativity thing. I think I would rather be a bit bi-polar. Then I would at least have heightened happiness. I wouldn't enjoy the inevitable crashes or the nagging need to avoid taking my meds, but this seems somewhat appealing. True negativity dictates my thoughts; my efforts at being positive usually only last a short while. How do I become positive? I don't need to be giddy or fanciful or sprightly. I just want to be happy.
This is for all of you optimists out there. Where's the silver lining? Can you help me find it, touch it, treasure it? Because right now I just want to rip it out, tear it up and shove it in the garbage can.
2 comments:
Ease up on the negativity 2b, you are crushing my groove here in TN. Seriously, anything I can do to make you feel better?
Hey, thanks for the offer. I may have exaggerated a bit when I used the phrase "NEVER happy." All's well some of the time. I don't think much could make me feel better, but I would like to see things in a more positive light. Focus on the good rather than the bad. I attempt it, but it never lasts. Can I change that? Oh, and I'd also like to never have to work again. You know, I only make simple requests.
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